Leadership Coaching Review Blog

Chapter 5: A Coach's Eye View of Life

You may gasp in shock, but I found little to pick at in chapter 5. I think that's because I agree with the values and practice of coaching, even if I disagree with Stoltzfus' placement of it in theology and philosophy of ministry. So now that's he's talking about coaching itself, I'm with him nearly 100%.

The chapter opens to Brett's story, a reitred military officer who is working towards a second career in law. The pressures of career change and relocation are squashing him, and he's thinking he chose the wrong path long ago. Now, Stoltzfus does something interesting at this point in their conversation. Rather than just question Brett on his choices and direct him towards his own solutions, Stoltzfus reframes the issue for him:

Here's what I see. For the first time in twenty-some years, you're asking fundamental questions about your destiny. You've told me you want to learn how to pray so you can hear what God has for you instead of just following what seems logical. You mentioned that you and your wfie had been struggling for years, but for the first time you've gotten help and you're working with a counselor. And now you've hired me as a coach to help you dig in and discover what you should be doing with the rest of your life. God seems to be much more a part of thinking and actions than he was three years ago. From where I sit, you are more in the center of God's will for your life than you've ever been. [62]

I do not think classic coaching method, in its humanistic/secular origins would advocate this kind of value-based evaluation by Stoltzfus. But it's really ingenious and just what Brett needs. Because this is Christian coaching, there must always be a revelatory/prophetic role that the coach plays which is absent in secular coaching. Sometimes it will be to ask questions steering people back to the revelation they have already encountered. Sometimes it will be like this -- providing a voice that reframes and in so doing encourages prophetically. In either case, we are playing a cooperative role with the Spirit who reminds bleivers of the revelation they have encountered in Jesus.

Part of the genius of coaching combiuned with this prophetic stance is that it takes a complete look at life and sees conflict and difficulty as essential to growth [63]. While almost everyone agree with this theortically, our service to people is often designed to remove pain, stress, pressure, and difficulty. This is counter productive. Coaching can teach the pastorially gifted, the apostolic, and the spiritual friend to take the right stance in regrads to pain and difficulty in the life of another. What we are asked to do by God is be faithful. Don't remove pain or problems, but be a witness, providing support, courage, and a sounding board. Just as God seldom removes pain from lives, but instead joins people in their pain, we too should mimic him.

Stoltzfus gets into eschatology when he begins to talk about the big picture of Christian destiny [64-65]. And he should, since eschatology determines mission, to some extent, and our destiny is all about mission. Stoltzfus joins a growing number of people rejecting a static view of the afterlife: it is not eternal retirment, or endless harp strumming on clouds. We are being trained to do God knows what in the coming ages. This is a useful eschatology, one shared by the likes of Dallas Willard and N.T. Wright. I would, however, recommend that Stoltzfus transitions from the use of heaven to an eschatology of new heavens and a new earth, since that fits more with the biblical texts supporting this view. Just a minor adjustment of language that will strengthen his position textually.

Another on the money statement by Stoltzfus is:

Transformational coaching produces far-reaching change because it prioritizes who you are becoming over what you are doing [66].

While what you are doing is still somewhat important, who you are is far more the point. This is an important change in thinking about God's will and our lives. Generally speaking, we tend to objectify everything, including ourselves, so our focus becomes right outcomes. We want to know which way God wants us to go because we want to be successful, and thus be fulfilled by who we are instrumentally. Rather, we should strive to know how God wants us to relate to him and others in our current context, so we are fulfilled intrinsically. The difference is, process becomes more important than outcomes, though they are important, just much less so. You could make a large number of different decisions at any given point and still be in God's will provided how you made the decision (process) was correct. This is far more real, redemptive, and helpful then our usual "one prefect path" view of God's will.

I also like Chapter 5's emphasis on responsbility [67-68]. Stoltzfus is right in tying leadership capacity to responsiblity [67]. This is Christ's view of things. However, I would encourage us to think of relational resposibility, rather than task-oriented responsibility. Someone doing a church job is not as developmentally effective as being faithful to a relationship God has given them. Most of us have enough task-responsibility at work, which may mean we need some coaching there, but we need much help developing relational responsibility from our faith community. This is counter-cultural since even families are generally publics and not communities and rampant individualism and autonomy short-circuit this. This starts with their relationship to themselves, as Stoltzfus points out: "'leaders take responsibility' for their own growth" [68]. Next, they should take responsibility for their relationships to friends and family members, serving and introducing task responsibility only as it relates to that service.

I would also like to add a hearty "amen" to Stoltzfus' view of Christian destiny [70-71].

posted by soulster @ 6:47 AM