Leadership Coaching Review Blog

Chapter 4: The Heart of a Coach

I think Stoltzfus' point that you must learn more than methods -- that it is an issue of the heart -- is a point well taken [47-48]. Especially in a day and age where authenticity is a premium, but highly valued. People are getting quite good at seeing through mechanical performances to our real motivations and character.

I am still struggling with the language of believing in people. I believe in Christ working in people, and I believe things about people, but I'm not sure I place much faith upon people themselves. Perhaps I'm missing the point here. Stoltzfus talks about seeing people as God sees them and quotes some great passages. However, there are some subtlities that make me squirm. For example:

God's response to us was totally out of keeping with what we looked like on the surface [49].

"On the surface" bothers me. Our problem was not a surface problem. We were not diamonds in the mud in need of polishing. We were corrupted in our inmost person. So when Stoltzfus asks the question, "what did God see in you when he made that incomprehensible choice?" [49], I answer "nothing". Stoltzfus answer is "grace and destiny," and it's the association of these things with "in you" that bother me. Neither of them are in us to begin with. They are in God. He did it because he was "looking" into himself. Grace and destiny are in Christ and only come to us as Christ enters us.

Likewise, I am uncomfortable with statements like, "honoring a person's capacity to run their own life" [56]. The implication of the Kingdom is that I should only honor a person's willingness to allow God to run their life.

OK, now on to what I agree with. These values statements by Stoltzfus couldn't be more right on:

1. God initiates change using every life using every life experience to develop our character and perpare us for our destiny [50].
2. As coaches [I read Christians], we consciously choose to interact with our clients [brothers and sisters] in terms of their destiny, not their problems [51].
3. The three most crucial disciplines of believing in people [I would say knowing people] are: listening, asking questions, and keeping the client [person] responsible [55].

I think Stoltzfus is right in saying that heart changes go: skills - disciplines - heart [57]. But here we must be very careful. When talking about transformation of this kind, we must ask, what are we transforming into? For me, I'll be taking a look at the skills a little bit as we go because some of the statements I've been concerned about in the last few posts sound philosophically humanistic. It's probably just a case of overstatement and lack of clarification. But, I've been too materialistic (in the philosophical sense) and humanistic most of my life, so I do not want to transform into that.

I could go into my thoughts on "Imitating the Way God Deals with Us" [58-59], but most it is the same issues I've been raising, so I won't be repeating them.

I would like to say that I have heard from several people (inclunding those commenting on this blog) a more appropriate theological grounding and better sense of coaching in the spectrum of ministry. There is also an acknowledgment of some of the hype associated with the usual presentations, namely statements like "Jesus was a coach" and "the Spirit is a coach." That is a tremendous relief and makes me think we may be able to use this wonderful strategy to correct some of our values, objectives, and practices without it become a monster that bites us in the butt.

posted by soulster @ 2:02 PM